The Hidden Opportunities in “Dark” Times

Dear Reader,

Hi there. I truly hope you’ve been doing well and taking care of yourself as we slowly come out of this pandemic together.

Though the public is gradually re-opening, several parts of the world and many aspects of our lives are still on hold. I’ve heard many of my colleagues say things like “I feel like we’ve lost a whole year” or “I’ve lost track of time”. We are so accustomed to keeping busy or following some sort of normal routine, but the pandemic disrupted (and even destroyed) those parts of our lives. Several of us don’t know what to do with ourselves at this point in time, which may leave us feeling stagnant or anxious to say the least.

However, we may be able to use this time as a chance for us to rest and deeply reflect on where we are now. Personally, I decided to take a break from blogging. (This is my first post in weeks.) Though I haven’t posted anything publicly, I have still been writing privately to reflect on some of the things I’ve learned in the past year.

Here is something I’ve been thinking about a great deal: the lowest points in lives and how to recover from them. Frequently referred to as “rock bottom” or “dark times”, these are the moments in lives where we suffer a personal loss or setback. And I’ve come to realize that when this happens, so many of us don’t know who we are outside of our relationships, our careers, or the material things that we associate with status.

I’ve noticed that mainstream popular culture and capitalism promote the idea of “love and light” or “good vibes only”, and that hard work and high status are the ultimate keys to happiness (and perhaps it is for some people). But this mindset can be dangerous in excess as it often implies that these low-points and the negative feelings associated with them should be avoided at all costs. We are implicitly taught that we need to fill the void with materialism, instant gratification, staying busy, and superficiality rather than doing the inner work. This is known as toxic positivity and a great article on this topic can be found here.

The truth is, the low-points in our lives are inevitable and may happen without warning. So what can we do when things fall apart?

Remember: when you suddenly find yourself face-to-face with those deep, uncomfortable feelings, you have an opportunity to overcome them. When you lose a part of your life, you have a chance to rebuild and rediscover yourself. It is ok to be completely beside yourself in those moments of grief, but remember: you don’t have to stay there forever.

“Our ‘dark’ moments, our shadows, are portals for birthing. If we can embrace these moments… then perhaps we can release some fear.”​

Dra. Rocío Rosales Meza

Loss is an immensely personal matter and can look like so many different things for us. So if you’re struggling and don’t know where or how to move forward, sometimes it helps to reflect on:

• personal values to keep us grounded
• personal boundaries to keep us safe
• embracing our authenticity as an act of self-love
• being mindful of how we feel and where we are in the moment

The things that are worthwhile in life are earned when we conquer our negative experiences. I truly commend you for being here and wish you well on your journey.

Sincerely,